OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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