NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
