I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
