At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't think brook has ever known best
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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