I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
