How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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