Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
