How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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