I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
