Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
