First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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