Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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