Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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