okay pat passed out under dana's car
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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