Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
