Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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