About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my poor anus
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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