I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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