good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
