I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
