You really coming over, don't trick.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You can't motorboat a personality
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
