cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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