he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
