Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
