Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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