You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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