When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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