I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You made out with two different species that night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
