He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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