I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We left the knife in your bed.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
