So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
3pm strippers are depressing
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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