can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh god it's open bar.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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