I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
