i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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