so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
