my vag is so smooth its legendary
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
