Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
