Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
