There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
