this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I lost the right to judge tonight
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
