We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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