whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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