Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
