this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
