Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
