Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
