I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
