Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My balls are so social today.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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