I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
