Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
